Friday, April 1, 2011

Favorite Magic Cards of All Time: Creatures

Hey everyone, today I'm going to cover my favorite creatures of all time. I meant to do this a couple days ago, but I'd been pretty sick all week (I blame Cooper). Anyways, you guys know the drill by now (they are in alphabetical order, etc.) so lets just get on with it.

Abbey Matron: One of the best white defensive creatures of all time. Abbey Matron blocks Juzam and Erhnam Djinns all day long without even breaking a sweat. Also, she is really sexy.

Camel: For the record, the card Desert is actually really good. I used to hate attacking with my Marton, only to have him die in a desert after combat. Once Marton started riding a camel, I never had to worry. Also, Banding is one of the most underrated creature keywords of all time.

Chimney Imp: When this card first came out, it was the laughing stock of the overpowered Mirrodin set. I'm not sure why this guy has such a bad reputation though. Sure he costs a fair amount, but have you ever resolved a Stunted Growth on someone? Chimney Imp's ability is just as powerful, especially if you have a reliable sac outlet.

Daughter of Autumn: Again with the sexy Homelands ladies. Daughter of Autumn may not look like much, but she'll be saving your Serra Angels and Personal Incarnations from all manner of burn spells. With the recent EDH rules changes, she can legally be a general now. Shes way better than Captain Sisay if you're trying to build a W/G deck.

Dwarven Pony: Once upon a time, Zach was obsessed with building Dwarf decks in Magic. Josh was jealous of Zach's Dwarf decks (which were super powerful), so he tore up every Dwarven Pony he owned instead of giving them to Zach for his deck. Zach in return, ripped up a Ball Lightning in front of Josh's face. True story.

Grandmother Sengir: I once had Jason make a Magic related banner for my signature in these Magic forums. The banner had pictures of Grandmother Sengir, Abbey Matron, Masako, and Mother of Runes and it said: "The Golden Girls of Magic." Grandmother Sengir was clearly Estelle Getty.

Infernal Denizen: Ignore his drawback for a second. Hes a gigantic control magic on a stick in a color that doesn't get those kinds of effects often. Just slap an Instill Energy on him and go to town. Seriously though, his artwork should be in the top 10 of best Magic Card Art of all Time.

Island Fish Jasconius: A long time ago, I was making 174,000 a year, and I was struggling to pay my bills on time. I could only afford the cheapest magic cards I could find. Luckily, I was able to find 4 copies of this guy for just pennies. He was one of the best blue finishers back in the day, and I could never understand why he was so cheap.

Shelkin Brownie: When I was a kid, my brother used to kick my ass in this game all the time. Most of the time, he'd plop down an Adventurers' Guildhouse, and he'd band together his Lady of the Mountain and Bartel Runeaxe and swing in for the win. Then one day, I discovered Shelkin Brownie. It was the ultimate trump card to my brother's deadly Adventurers' Guildhouse combo. I've loved him ever since.

Squire: The first booster pack I ever bought myself was a pack of The Dark. I opened it and to my surprise I saw this gem. I had never really played White much, but this guy was just so awesome, I had to go home and make a white deck immediately. Hes light years better than White Knight.

Wood Elemental: Lets say I'm playing a green deck that ramped into a bunch of forests. Its the late game, and I'm sitting on at least 15 forests. What card do I wanna draw? Not Rude Awakening. Not Molimo. I wanna draw a Wood Elemental. Hes huge, hes cheap, and sacrificing all of your forests is a pretty minor drawback, especially that late in the game. Good thing he only lets you sac untapped forests, otherwise he'd probably be broken.

And there you have it, my favorite Magic creatures of all time. My favorite of these is probably Island Fish Jasconious, because hes a motherfucking ISLAND FISH!

Next up: Artifacts.


  1. That jerk. I needed at least 4 Dwarven Ponies for that deck.