Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Rock Band - A Gaymer's Reflection

I am indebted to Harmonix for shaping my teenage Gaymer identity. If it wasn't for their Karaoke Revolution series, then I wouldn't have developed my karaoke song repertoire to contain the music styling's of St. Cher's "Believe", St. Augilera's "Genie in a Bottle", and St. Spear's "Toxic". But the days of digital karaoke have passed onto the golden era of the musical gaming industry that has been pioneered by Rock Band.

As most of our readers know, each player in Rock Band is asked to select a role - vocals (lead and background), guitar, bass, drums, and now keyboard - and function as a group to trek along the road to fame dome. While teamwork is always a positive, we all know that everyone is going to judge you on your ability to perform, regardless of what instrument you pick. So I present this gaymer guide to Rock Band to help prepare you for future jamming sessions!

Vocals: If you're a gaymer and grab the mic, then you better be prepared to own it or succumb to your inability to tap into your inner diva. Don't be scared to sing out because Rock Band has the ability to auto-tune your pitch - just make noise and own the stage. And don't forget the key rule of performing - the more off you are vocally, the more you need to bust out your dance moves and inspire your team mates. Or flail your arms around and moon them. Your choice.

Guitar and Drums: Be prepared to bust out your skills. Guitar and Drums are the most demanding positions in Rock Band because you're required to go at an intense speed with strong finger coordination...which make them both the most entertaining and challenging. While the guitar is easier to pick up than drums, it's critical to not be overcome by the waves of adoring fans awing over your skills.

Now if you chose drums, be prepared to demonstrate how much of a man you are. Everyone loves a player who is a drum expert because no one else dares to make a fool of themselves on the orange peddle. However, be warned. Once you play the drums, everyone else will glue you down to your seat and force you to keep jamming out.

Bass: Guitar training wheels. If you're not in the mood to give yourself carpel tunnel, then this is the best role to play. Strap on the bass and enjoy your beer, it isn't like much will be demanded from you. But if you need to make yourself look important, make sure you bust out your whammy bar and score those bonus points on those long notes.

Keyboard: The most recent addition to the Rock Band family. If you're Asian, then you're pretty typecasted to this role. If you're Asian and wear glasses, then you're expected to be a prodigy. Not many songs have the keyboard incorporated into them, but the keyboard can be used as a substitute for the guitar/bass which makes things so much easier since you can play with 2 hands!

There you have it friends. Now go rock out with your c*ck out.


  1. I wish I still had my copies of Karaoke Revolution :(

    Also I sorta wanted to play some Rockband at Dan's, but I was too caught up in Smashing. To this day, I've still only played Rockband like twice.

  2. Is it still at Yvonne's?

    I fondly remember our KR parties. It's been a long, long time.